Inquisition
by wren10514
Summary: The crew are interviewed about Kirk and Spock's unprofessional relationship. [rating on the safe side. implied slash]


**Inquisition**

_Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Paramount etc etc, I get no money I just do it for giggles._

_This style of this story is loosely based on a scene from the Joss Whedon series "Firefly" in the episode "Bushwhacked". If you haven't seen it do – it's brilliant and this probably won't make sense without it or a very vivid imagination._

Interviewer -"Will you please state your name and rank for the record."

Uhura - "Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, Communications Officer aboard the USS Enterprise."

I - "Thank you Lieutenant. Now I want you to rest assured that this is purely an informal inquiry. Personally I do not give any credence to these rumours, but I have been asked to investigate. So, how would you describe the relationship between Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock?"

Uhura - "They work very closely together, of course. The Captain obviously greatly values Mr. Spock's advice as his Science Officer. They play chess in the evenings in the rec room quite often, but I can't say I've seen anything more in it than that."

I - "Some of the other people I've interviewed have mentioned that you seem to be quite intuitive when it comes to personal matters. You wouldn't say you've noticed any more intimate between them?"

McCoy – "Intimate? Spock? You obviously haven't met the Vulcan. He wouldn't know what intimacy was if it bit him on the ass, if you'll excuse my language."

I - "Not at all. However you have mentioned their "affection" for each other in the past. You would not say that they were any closer than any other two people on the ship?"

Scot – "Aye, of course they are! Those two have stared death in the face together, and you don't get much closer than that, but in a relationship! Excuse me, lassie, but if every soldier got into a relationship because he had come close to death we'd have a helluva problem on our hands."

I - "Quite. And you say that Captain Kirk is not known for being in a relationship?"

Rand – "A relationship? No. Trust me, with my job I know the Captain's whereabouts, and I think it's safe to say there are women all over the galaxy who would never forgive him if he ever settled down."

I - "You would say he is experienced with women then?"

Uhura – "Spock? Not really. There was that case with Leila, but once we all came to our senses, he didn't seem all that interested. I know Christine, that's Nurse Chapel, has been interested in him for a while, but I doubt she'll ever get anywhere."

Cut to Christine in the interview room.

I - "Forgive me, this is a little personal, but I understand you have had feelings Mister Spock?"

Kirk – "Feelings? Look I don't know where you get these rumours from, but I am not involved with Mr. Spock. He is a damn fine first officer and a good friend, but that is all. I have always found my greatest gratification in women, if that's personal enough for you. Now, can I go? I do have a ship to run here."

I - "Of course, only a couple more questions. You do not feel it is possible that he has had feelings for you?"

Spock – "Miss Lantry, I understand you are unfamiliar with non-human customs so allow me to explain. I am a Vulcan and as such I have little care for the illogical imbalances which seem to drive humans so often. Whether he feels one way or another is completely irrelevant to the work we do here and which I must be returning to."

I - "Just one last question, if you please. How would you describe your relationship?"

Chekhov – "With Meester Spock and the Keptin? I work for dem. I don't socialise with dem if that's what you mean. I don't understand Meester Spock at all. And I don't understand how Keptin Kirk can put up with someone so rigid all dee time."

I - "Thank you, that's all. I've concluded my report and thought you would like to know that I have not found anything to substantiate these rumours. Your positions in Starfleet are safe gentleman."

Kirk – "Why thank you Miss Lantry. Have a safe journey home."

As the beam finally died away everyone in the transporter room breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God that's over!" McCoy exclaimed. "Who would care to join me for a little Saurian brandy?"

Uhura rubbed her neck. "I will for once. I thought she would never leave."

"Tell me about it," Yeoman Rand yawned, "she had me dragging out the logs from every mission we've ever been on trying to find something. For someone who doesn't believe the rumours she sure was thorough."

"Yeah we really dodged a bullet that time." Kirk looked pensive, "We could have been in big trouble then. The military does not look very kindly on fraternisation."

Spock merely raised an eyebrow. "It would have been illogical to worry about it. Either she would find out or she would not, we did all we could."

Kirk elbowed him playfully in the ribs, "That's not what you were saying last night! You were just as worried as I was!"

Spock caught the offending arm and drew his Captain closer, a smirk barely gracing his lips. "Care to debate this matter in your quarters," Spock's voice rumbled low in his throat as he brought Jim's lips up to meet his own in a brief kiss.

Chekhov simply stood with his mouth hanging open in shock. "What? I don't understand…"

Uhura took pity on him. "You didn't know? The Captain and Mr. Spock have been together for almost a year. It's just taken this long for the rumours to spread that far."

"But…Meester Spock…is a Vulcan…" Chekhov spluttered.

Scotty chuckled. "Aye and half human as well, lad. That's an important half that is."

"Right everyone back to your stations." Kirk announced. "Scotty, you have the bridge."

Jim Kirk barely heard Scotty's "aye sir" as he strode off towards his quarters with his t'hy'la, neither of them quite touching the other as they walked the halls of their ship.


End file.
